Part 2/Am I am who He says I am?

“The only time you should look down on a man, is when you are helping him up.”

 

Jesse Jackson

 

As I promised, I would finish telling you how the last post ended. So the kid’s father called in late December, and said that he really missed his kids, and he wanted to see them. Over the phone, I could hear the pain in voice, so I said; I will purchase a plane ticket for you tomorrow. As those words flew out of my mouth I was a little shocked… I bought the plane ticket. Him and I have no plans whatsoever of getting back together. The kids and I have been doing just fine without him… so why I purchased the plane ticket remained a mystery… A couple of weeks later the kids and I were at the airport awaiting for his arrival. As soon as he starts making his way out of the gate, the kids ran to him, and they started crying. I stayed in my seat, as I thought this moment was about them, and not me. As I sat there and watched what used to be my family (that went away 11 years ago) was now here but, broken. As they walked towards me, somehow, we all were hugging, and I was crying… but why was I crying??? Perhaps, because I saw that he was much more broken than I had imagined. His shoes were coming apart, his face looked pained, and the years had really taken a toll on him. I understood now that this visit was not for me and the kids… but for their father…

“The only time you should look down on a man, is when you are helping him up.”

Jesse Jackson

 Once he settled in… he apologized, and apologized, and apologized, and apologized for not being there for us. He was so very thankful, and he kept thanking me, and thanking me, and thanking me… I kept telling him… you have already been forgiven… A few days in, after I got off work, I handed him a document that I typed while I was at work… I had already faxed this special document off to the child support office, but I wanted him to have the original special document. I put both of our names on it, and our children’s information on it… Through only God’s mercy and grace did I hand over that special document stating that I forgave the child support debt of 73,000, and some change that he owed me.

It is not that I wasn’t owed something for raising our kids- and it wasn’t because he was all of sudden being nice to me- God had been talking with me for years about this heavy debt that was piling up on him. Sometimes… Many times we all need a second chance, perhaps a third chance, perhaps a fourth chance… Sometimes we all have needed a clean slate no matter how small or large the offense is. God has forgiven me for so much. God forgives me on a daily basis. I have caused a lot of harm to people in my pass, and since I have been walking with The Lord, my life is very peaceful. (I am still a sinner, but I do the best I can) I have witnessed God give me one clean slate after the other. There is no use in me trying to keep score on who did what. What is the purpose of holding onto anything that no longer serves its original purpose? So I can hold it over their head, and remain a willing participant to Satan and his lies? No. No. I am free. I am free indeed. I come in peace, and I will leave in peace. I have nothing to gain…so all I can offer is my love… the love of Jesus!

Have you ever needed to be forgiven?

Crystal