Rough time.



1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.

 God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape,

 that you may be able to endure it.

I am trying to quit smoking. I don't smoke that much... maybe 5 cigarettes a day. I started smoking in 2006 after a traumatic incident. I always thought that I could stop whenever I wanted.. well when I just had major surgery a few months ago.. I realized that I was highly agitated, irritable, and cranky.. and I didn't know why. Obviously I can't smoke in the hospital.. but I didn't think that not smoking for two days would effect me at all...BOY WAS I WRONG.. and it wasn't until my good friend showed up.. and she could see I was really irritable.. and she asked the nurse if I could have a patch.. I was like I don't need no patch, because I didn't believe that I was feeling this way over cigarettes... sure enough I get a patch.. and I was a trillion times better..

But I was angry at myself.. because I had to realize I was addicted to cigarettes. It just wasn't smoking.. but the routine that I had for smoking.. this is one of the hardest things that I am trying to break myself from.. Its only been three days that I have quit. I bought the patches to help with withdrawal symptoms.. I feel bad for even buying the patches.. because God wants me to depend only on him.. because he can do all things.. so not only am I trying to quit, but where is my faith??? What did I get myself into? Ugh. the patch helps.. but there are times where it gets tough.. I am chewing lots of gum, and I have a stress ball.

I have a choice to what I put in my body. I am harming body, my clothes smell bad, and it hurts my kids when I smoke. And looking like a crack head because I couldn't have a cigarette is surely not cute (lol)

I am praying that I will overcome this addiction. I am placing in my mind that I can do it. This is really really really hard... All I can do is try. Plus God promises a way to escape temptation, so that I may endure it..

Until next time.. with a my loving, and merciful heart, I say keep up the goood work, because we are growing beyond belief.

God bless. Amen. Crystal